I. Boring Beauty
When something profound (good or bad) happens, we finally realize the beauty of our mundane lives.
“I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them.”
— Andy Bernard (Ed Helms)
Life is like a good record.
Fleeting with unlimited meaning.
However you want to listen, the choice is yours.
“The reason I became 297 pounds is because I was comfortable. What was very uncomfortable? Running. Being on a diet. Facing things I didn’t want to face.
When I was really big, I had no growth, because I was living comfortable.”
-David Goggins
It’s hard to make an idea a reality.
Have you ever attempted something new? The hardest part is always the beginning. Why? It’s difficult to translate your first try into the end result. 100 pushups seems ridiculous when you can barely do 10; these are two vastly different states. But everyone starts somewhere.
If you’re uncomfortable, then you’re doing something right.
We all have great ideas and aspirations. But until we start, that’s all they are, ideas and aspirations. Remember that you can’t improve a product that doesn’t exist.
Don’t wait until things are perfect because they never will be.
Go make something today.
I. The Hidden
Reality is also what we don’t see.
“Just because you haven’t seen a black swan, doesn’t mean one doesn’t exist. Just because you’ve only seen white swans, doesn’t mean that’s all that exists.”
— Nassim Taleb
Our realities are mostly shaped by our experiences. Yet, different (unseen) outcomes are possible, even typical, for other people.
It would sometimes serve us better to see what we cannot see.
There is something I GUARANTEE you are better than any other person on the planet at… and that’s being yourself.
“Everyone is the best at something: being themselves.
When you’re competing with people it’s because you’re copying them. It’s because you’re trying to do the same thing. But every human is different.
Don’t copy. Just do your own thing.“
–Naval Ravikant
Whatever success you are searching for, it’s always easier to achieve it through the least crowded path.
Which ordinary skills do you have, that once combined, become extraordinary?
For example, you may be an average artist, but you’re funny and understand cryptocurrency. Individually these skills are normal, but once combined, they make you unique. This idea is called your Talent Stack, and it’s a concept coined by Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert comics.
Innovation is just a fancy word for being different.
Add the most value by being yourself.
It’s that simple.
I. Rivers of Time
Every moment is unique.
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”
— Heraclitus
Whether it be your view of the world, your circumstances, or the people around you, each second that passes is accompanied by change.
You cannot live the same moment twice.
I. Fighting Types
The best skills come from within.
“The student as boxer, not fencer.
The fencer’s weapon is picked up and put down again.
The boxer’s is part of him.
All he has to do is clench his fist.”
— Marcus Aurelius
We spend time trying to control the wrong things. With limited attention, what are the weapons you care about most?
Be a boxer, not a fencer.
These past few weeks, I’ve been traveling across the country to present my talk, “The Happy Key To Success,” to teams across Google. I was invited to offsites in Atlanta, Boulder, and Los Angeles.
But wait, why talk about happiness at Google?
One thing we fail to understand is that our external world does not necessarily correlate to how we feel inside. Only 10% of your happiness is predicted by external things like you drive a nice car, or you work at Google. Whereas 90% of your happiness is predicted by your perception and how you view the world – something I was fortunate to learn from Shawn Achor +8 years ago.
Important points:
I feel lucky to have the opportunity to bring these ideas to the forefront. Huge thanks to all of the organizers who invited me to speak, and the attendees who were open to these ideas. People who work at Google are already very smart and talented, and I get excited when I think about how much more they can achieve with positive psychology.
It’s the small things that we choose to focus on, that shape us into who we become.
If we can just slightly change your perception, we can dramatically influence your happiness, and create a real revolution.
Now get going!
If you’re interested in having Alex speak at your company, you can express interest here.
“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”
–Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
Randy Pausch learned that he had pancreatic cancer in September 2006, and was given 3 to 6 months to live.
As a professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University, he wanted to do something authentic before passing, something that encapsulated his life; who he was and what he learned.
He got to writing and within the next year, he gave a lecture titled “The Last Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.” The talk was later turned into a book, The Last Lecture, which became a New York Timesbest-seller.
Both are phenomenal, and worth checking out.
There’s no doubt you’ve experienced some sort of setback in your life. How you choose to interpret the situation is up to you.
Sure, we need to be realistic; your mentality doesn’t change the fact that you were dealt a 7 / 2 off-suit.
Yet at the same time, you only get one hand to play, so you might as well play it as best you can.
“You’re born, you have a whole set of sensory experiences… and then you die. How you choose to interpret that is up to you. And you do have that choice.”
-Naval Ravikant
Stop focusing on your cards.
Get out, get going, and play the best damn hand you can.
“We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.”
– Confucius
An excuse I like to give myself all the time is – I’ll just do it tomorrow.
The problem with this approach is that time is finite. The phrase allows us to feel a sense of progress, but it’s not real. Instead, we’ve stopped momentum in its tracks. 2019 was the year you wanted to join a gym and get in shape, yet here we are six months later and you haven’t even started.
And this doesn’t just apply to our goals, but it also applies to our values. Our family, health, and friendships – yeah, those can wait for tomorrow too.
But what if you only had one day to live?
Are you prioritizing what’s most important?
Have you ever visited a place you haven’t been in a while? You witness a scene that has participated in so much change that it’s indistinguishable. This picture spurs a nostalgia for your memorable past and also reminds us that we exist for a period and then we’re gone.
The Stoics believed that everyone should remind themselves of their mortality on a regular basis.
“Live each day as a separate life.”
― Seneca
Realize this, and move onto your second life; one which has more meaning and is lived deliberately.
Every morning I try to remind myself of this idea, that we are all mortal.
“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”
― Marcus Aurelius
The sooner you start, the longer you’ll have.
Start living. Start doing.
Be the person you want to be tomorrow, today.
Inspired by: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
“Average people get average results.
–Sam Altman
Extreme people get extreme results.”
I see this problem everywhere; we want to improve our lives, but at the same time, we want to follow the status quo.
It’s foolish when you think about it. How could you possibly get different results by following the same plan?
If you copy what everyone else is doing, you’re sure to be like everyone else.
To get extreme results, you must be willing to do something extreme.
Theres no doubt some people are practicing this, but it’s a small minority. If you copy the crowd, you’re destined to their results. To achieve something more incredible, you must be willing to stand out from the mass and do what others aren’t willing to try.
Sit down and consider what you’re doing differently, and if the answer is not much, make a change.
I am now convinced that disconnecting from technology (especially social media) is an Extreme Results power move. Taking a walk outside, sitting quietly in solitude, or journaling your thoughts is a unique path that 99% of us aren’t willing to take.
Yet this type of pursuit makes us more human and allows our brains to process the millions of inputs we jam into our heads everyday.
Even if it’s just for 20 minutes, that’s 20 minutes more than anyone else.
Inspired by Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport
Every highly successful person I’ve ever met has had their quirks.
You’ve probably had your own experience, or even heard similar stories from others. It’s funny how this narrative prevails – we finally get to meet someone we look up to, and we expect them the be everyone else. “They should be normal,” we think. Yet they’ve done something so unusual.
Once you realize the connection between quirks and success, you can harness your full potential.
Be yourself. Do something uncommon and go get uncommon results.